The art of being reticent

Introversion in a social world.

Reticence in modern society almost seems like a taboo. With good communication being associated with competence, one is at crossroads with his personal boundaries in the digital age.

I have always come across as someone who is reserved. More observant than expressive as I don’t always feel the need to include anyone and everyone inside my mind palace. It is by no means a result of embarrassment but simply mindfulness in communication. This posed a challenge when I stepped into the corporate world and defied the cultural norms of sharing. Silence meant fear, weakness, diplomacy, passiveness or ego even. While I do understand the paradigm, I also believe that the more words you are, the less reliable people see you as. (The irony of me being a writer lol!)

Sure, it is important to make your voice heard but we forget that not all voices are appropriate everywhere. You wouldn’t go to a vegetarian and explain the benefits of eating meat. Besides, there are other ways of putting across your point which has nothing to do with speaking. Do you know how seriously your point is considered when you occasionally share something among a group? The fact that you chose to express your views on a particular topic as a usually reserved person gives your view even more value because the way people see it; you wouldn’t have spoken if this wasn’t absolutely important. That’s the benefit of being reserved. Not to mention, the freedom of not being involved in office politics and such in this context. But unfortunately, people don’t give chance to mental clarity through silence. They need to fill in the awkward silences. But what is awkward about silence anyway?

The power of silence has taken a back seat with oversharing on social media being the new norm. The forced concept of “Digital detox”, although seemingly good, is very challenging in a world where discreet living is very alien to most of us. We, as people need that connection, that intimacy, that validation which erases all barriers between self expression and privacy. Throws emotional restraint out of the window, which ultimately leads to social media fatigue. 

I do like to believe that I am not the only one that thrives in solitude and most importantly, the underrated silence in a noisy world. I think if we spend more time just observing the world around us and being introspective, the need to be included might vanish eventually which is the biggest crutch today. Because the more I know about the outer world, the less I feel the need to be a part of it.

The quiet confidence of not needing to depend on anyone is liberating. As Edward Hopper rightfully puts it, “The only real influence I’ve ever had was myself.”

Pictures from: Cosmos & Pinterest